This is a list of some of the books that were helpful to me on my journey, I hope you will find something that works for you too. (sorted alphabetically by Author)


If I Understood You, Would I Have This Look on My Face? My adventures in the art and science of relating and communicating – Alan Alda 

A Story of Second Chances – The Heart Mender – Andy Andrews

The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse – Dr. Dan B. Allender

T-h-e Bondage Breaker: Overcoming-Negative Thoughts, Irrational Feelings, Habitual Sins – Neil T Anderson

The Secrets Men Keep: How Men Make Life and Love Tougher Than it Has to Be – Stephen Arterburn


Codependant No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself – Melody Beattie

Beyond Codependency: And Getting Better All The Time – Melody Beattie

God Allows U-Turns: A Woman’s Journey (True Stories of Hope and Healing) – Allison Gappa Bottke with Cheryll Hutchings


Lord, Change Me – Evelyn Carol Christenson …..  The thought in this book was a life changer. As the abused we want our abusers to stop treating us that way when in factthe only possible way to change our life is by working to change how WE do life, the changes in us will cause changes in our relationships with others whether they change or not.

Changes That Heal: How to Understand Your Past to Ensure a Healthier Future – Dr. Henry Cloud

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life – Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. John Townsend….. as abused we were not allowed to have boundaries, no boundaries became a way of life. Realizing we can, and should, have boundaries is a life changer.


Confronting the Horror: The Aftermath of Violence – Wilma Derksen

Have You Seen Candace – Wilma Derksen

The Way of Letting Go: One Woman’s Walk Toward Forgiveness – Wilma Derksen

Unsettled Weather: How Do I Forgive – Wilma Derksen


Captivating: Unveiling the Mysteries of a Woman’s Soul – John & Stasi Eldredge




An Affair of the Mind: One Woman’s Courageous Battle to Salvage Her Family from the Devastation of Pornography (Focus on the Family) – Laurie Hall



Woman Thou Art Loosed – T. D. Jakes


Love Is A Choice: Recovery for Codependent Relationships – Minirth-Meier Clinic Series – Dr. Frank Minirth, Dr. Paul Meier, and others …… of all the books I’ve read this was probably the most helpful, it reads like a textbook and covers a lot of ground.

Approval Addiction: Overcoming Your Need to Please Everyone – Joyce Meyer

Beauty For Ashes: Receiving Emotional Healing – Joyce Meyer

Dare to Dance Again: Steps from the Psalms When Life Trips You Up – Cathy Mogus




Making Peace With Your Past: Help for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families – Tim Sledge ….. This was the twelve step course most helpful to me, it seemed to be personal, (where others were generalized)  and it focused on heart issues associated with dysfunction.



Intimacy Anorexia: Healing the Hidden Addiction in Your Marriage  – Doug Weiss Ph.D

Married and Alone – Doug Weiss Ph.D….. the loneliest time of life: living with someone  refusing to connect with you.

Making Peace With Your Mom: Steps to a Healthier Mother-Daughter Relationship –       H. Norman Wright and Sheryl Wright Macauley ….. while our father may be the main abuser there can still be an element of dysfunction in our mothers and the way they do life.  Then again, sometimes our main abuser could be our mom.